Free to Be Me

In my recent delvings into Myers-Briggs I discovered the following: INFPs (my personality type) have an intense dislike of conflict and criticism. One website goes so far as to say that criticism is death to people like me. This is not a new revelation for me. I definitely dislike conflict and criticism. I even dislike listening to people criticize others, the government, society, etc. because I am apt to think the problem must be my fault or my responsibility to remedy. What was new to me was the fact that this is a trait common to my personality type and is not the way everyone views conflict and criticism.
I have recently come to the realization that I typically do all in my power to prevent conflict by being a happy, agreeable person, but when I can't prevent conflict I prefer to avoid dealing with it. Sadly, I would almost rather end a friendship than work through the difficulty. Consequently, as a good friend pointed out to me recently, I have never taken most of my friendships to the deepest level of being unlovely and yet loved in spite of it. This is something I have determined to work on. I even set the wallpaper on my computer to this quote: "What is a friend? I will tell you...it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself" (Frank Crane).
Today I received the following devotion from Ransomed Heart, John Eldredge's ministry. It's an excerpt from the book Captivating and I think it encapsulates well where I've been and where I'd like to go on this personal growth challenge.

Awkward Love
"Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships. There are ebbs and flows. There may be real hurt and disappointment. But with the grace of God firmly holding us, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships. We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of other women. We need one another. God knows that. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and, in faith, to love. We must also repent. For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her. Fallen Eve demands that people “come through” for her. Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed. Fallen Eve has been wounded by others and withdraws in order to protect herself from further harm. Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship. Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self.

"'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, redeemable . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers . . . of love is Hell.' (C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves)"
(Captivating, p. 181–82)

For those of you who are also enamored by Myers-Briggs, here are some websites I've found especially interesting:
Keirsey.com
Personality Desk
Personality Page