"I am a better one"

I have been using my getting-ready time in the morning to listen to the Bible on audiobook.  Listening to larger chunks of scripture at a time has brought new things to light in passages that are familiar.  Today, I was listening to 2 Corinthians.  Chapter 11 had some verses that struck me.  In verse 23, Paul says, "Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one..." If I were to hear someone start a conversation with those words, I would expect them to follow with things like, "I read my Bible every day," "I pray for an hour each morning," "I've started three churches and been on 12 mission trips," "I give above and beyond a 10% tithe," "I volunteer at the homeless shelter every Thanksgiving."

But how does Paul finish that statement?  He says, "Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness" (2 Cor. 11:23-30).

I never think to boldly proclaim my suffering as evidence that I am a servant of Christ.  That is, in part, due to the fact that I haven't suffered much.  None of the things Paul mentions have happened to me.  If this is the mark of a committed servant, I have some work to do.  Am I engaged in spreading the Gospel in a way that Satan feels the need to attack?  If everything is going smoothly for me, maybe my life is currently ineffective for Christ.  In Paul's letter to the Philippians, he says, "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death" (Phil. 3:10).  We fellowship with Christ when we suffer.  Why do I seek to avoid suffering and instead base the value of my Christian contribution on what I have done, instead of what HE has done?  Why do I run from the very thing that will bring me closest to Christ?  

May I become a woman who can "boast of the things that show my weakness," so that Christ can be glorified more and more through me.  May I be open to the suffering that comes to a true servant of Christ and relish the opportunity to fellowship with Christ.